However, when it comes to spouses it's much different. There can be grudges. There can be days or weeks without love and affection. There are separations and divorces. But why is it so different? I believe it comes down to a solid statement:
We must have 100% faith that our spouse was specifically chosen for us
Some people might call it destiny. If you want to put your faith in that you can. I believe that God is my dad and he has a destiny and a calling for me. And the most important part of that destiny and calling is my spouse. My partner. My lover. My helpmate.
Where do we go wrong?
In life we all make mistakes. Countless mistakes. Mistakes often come from bad choices. The brilliant thing about this beautiful gift called life is that we can atone for our mistakes and bad choices. We don't have to dwell in them. We can simply move on. We can chalk it up as a learning lesson, and call it a day.
When we think that we chose our spouse we can call it a mistake
If we do not accept the fact that our spouse is chosen for us by God then we can put our marriage in the same category as any other decision we have made in our lives. We can say we made a mistake in the person we chose. We can move on and chalk it up as a learning lesson. However, there is no mistake in who we married.
Our children were not a choice we made but were chosen for us
Sure, we may have decided to have kids but we did not choose who they are. We did not choose what they would look like or the type of personality they have. That is part of the joy of the parent-child relationship. We get to constantly discover them and see them grow. We cannot call a kid a learning lesson and move on without them because we did not choose them, they were given to us. We realize that we have been given this child and are responsible to take care of their needs--physical and emotional.
It's time for us to see our spouse the same way we see our kids
I know a lot of wives probably feel like they already see their husbands as kids but that's not the direction I am going here. If we change our mentality and realize that our spouses were given to us by God's specific will then it will change our marriages. Our spouse makes us into a better person. We are able to love them in a sort of way that will shape them into the person that God wants them to be. We have been given our spouse with a responsibility to take care of their needs--physical and emotional. We all took a vow when we got married. That vow is that we promised to love our spouse whether they are sick (mentally, physically or emotionally) or healthy. In good times and the bad. Love them unconditionally. Not under the conditions that they treat you like a princess. Or that they submit to your every command. Marriage is a vow unto God that we will forever be there as a help and support to love and cherish the very beautiful gift that he gave to us.
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